Hello there, bored people of the world.
Every week we endeavour to provide you with new and up to date office gossip about what’s going on around the office, who’s been to see what at the cinema and how many times a day Torje gets wolf-whistled at by men.
The purpose of this blog is to show you that we are humans as well as game designers. Well, we’re all human except Torstein, who I suspect may be a giant Toothbrush, sent to Earth as a spy. I don’t know why this would be, I just have a feeling.
This week’s post-Christmas office gossip:
Torstein: Torstein’s father used to say he must be from another planet, apparently, adding weight to my suspicion he might be a large mutant Toothbrush. Anyway, over the holidays Torstein’s wife, mother, and grandmother have sadly all been quite sick with fever. It seems very contagious, as they all got it from being in the same room as a dentist. That’s what happens when you let an attractive man in a white coat wash his polythene gloves in your mouth, I’d say; bever-fever.
Somehow Mr. T has not gotten sick, (perhaps he’s immune because Toothbrushes and dentists are supposed to be on the same side!)
Other than that, for Christmas Torstein got Ron Burgundy’s biography, Let Me Off At The Top!, so he’s been reading about Ron’s incredible life and, no doubt, learning our ways to attempt to assimilate himself into human life.
Ole Helland: Ole has been at his girlfriend’s parent’s place for the holidays. How merry! While there he has been reading a comic book called, Y: The Last Man, about a fellow who finds himself to be the last male mammal on Earth. I’m sure if would be quite tiring (and messy, but also humorous) trying to re-populate that fictional future.
For Christmas Ole got a set of bowls for the different ingredients for, let’s say, tacos, Norway’s national dish. He says it has a ‘rad’ spinning plate underneath, and for us all to ‘say goodbye to the Norwegian elbows, ha-ha!’… I’m sure you can all imagine.
Ole also got a card with which he is able to take a swim in some selected swimming pools in Oslo. Fancy! Here I shall use another quote from Mr. Helland: ‘I’ve been meaning to get more physically active, so I guess I’m out of excuses. Except for a swimming hat. I probably still need that.’ Don’t be gross, Ole; just buy some swimming trunks.
Dan: Dan has had a wonderful Christmas with his family in England Land, with tonnes of food, beer and Christmas cake. He went on a mad hunt over several cities for a suit overcoat that didn’t drown him like his mother tried to one year on her birthday. He played a lot of Cards Against Humanity which he recommends to everyone alive, especially ‘brown people’ and anyone with incurable diseases of the immune system. You’re going to have a great time.
Dan’s funniest Christmas moment was when his brother lost his new camera drone not three minutes after it’s maiden flight. Of course, when Dan tried to fly his own drone around the field he managed to smash it into almost everything in view, but at least he kept it within the boundary of his father’s property.
Now, Jack! Daniel’s brother, he lost his drone. He flew it up confidently, gracefully, then it blasted into the air and pitched sideways and just carried on, up and away until they couldn’t see it and as Jack desperately mashed every button on the controller, shouting, ‘This is really not good!’ He ran away in his bare feet to try to find it but, sadly, it was gone. This left Jack feeling very down as he and his family played the saddest game of Bananagrams ever, with Jack constructing such words as ‘lost’ and ‘had’ and ‘gone’.
But, while he was out searching for his lost plane, his family laughed and laughed and laughed…
Stian: Stian had a celebration with a big part of the family at his grandparent’s 200 year old mansion (I guess they were celebrating having a 200 year old mansion) and he has been eating pinekjøtt with his girlfriend’s family. For those of you who don’t know, pinekjøtt is a traditional Norwegian dish, like tacos. It’s basiclly a dead sheep, shaved and covered in salt and smells like a wet dog. But it’s very delicious!
The last couple of days Stian has been rigging and skinning a troll. For the game, of course. And here, Stian make a great joke which I shall quote; ‘Skinning trolls is just one of my daily viking rituals.’ Boom. Hilair! But then it was back to the day job for Stian, laughing at the silly old people while he watches them bungling round Internet Explorer, forgetting passwords and unable to get their email to work. Sounds like heaven to me, Stian.
Sadly, one else got back to me by the deadline to be included in this week’s office gossip. They were obviously too drunk.
So that’s it for this week’s office gossip. Check back next week for another glimpse into our fascinating lives.