Hello and hello, trousers and skirts.
Every week we endeavour to provide you with new and up to date office gossip about what’s going on around the office, who’s been to see what at the cinema and how many times a day Torje makes women gasp by flexing his biceps at them and winking seductively.
The purpose of this blog is to show you that we are humans as well as game designers. Well, we’re all normal except Torstein, who I suspect may be a Sheldon Cooper impersonator who’s work has dried up in recent times, leaving him with no money to get a haircut.
This week’s office gossip:
Ole Helland: For New Year’s Eve, Ole and his girlfriend didn’t want to deal with the hassle of finding somewhere to be, and no one invited them for dinner as Ole often talks too much, so they just relaxed in their apartment. Ole finished Far Cry 4, which he says was quite good. He finished the story missions with around 35% completion (which sounds pretty low to me), but he didn’t feel like completely finishing the game, as it turned quite easy after he achieved the Buzzsaw. Ole is looking forward to getting back into Dragon Age: Inquisition again and hopes to complete it by next January so he can go out and have fun. In this new year, Ole is also looking forwards to working on Through the Woods, because reasons.
Kenneth: After eating ‘shitloads’ of food and drinking lots of good beer with family and friends in his home town, Kenneth has returned to Oslo! He’s been doing what he calls ‘work’, Aikido-training (to defend himself against everyone who hates him) and playing with his dear Playstation 4.
Kenneth started playing Assassins creed 4, and, since it’s set in the mythical land of France, he set the audio to French with English subtitles. Kenneth assures me that this gave him a ‘completely new gameplay experience, an awesome one!’ I, however, refuse to play it as I hate it when games containing real people and historical events are set in mythical lands.
Kenneth is also just now, right now, buying some more parts for his new computer which is slowly but surely getting finished. I keep telling him 32GB of RAM is just not enough but he sees right through me.
Anders: Anders didn’t say anything last week because of some excuses. He says Christmas was a drunken blur with stuff happening every day, lots of socialising with old friends in his old hometown and something about using pooltables in unusual ways. For New Year’s Eve he went to a party with his roomie, met some ‘cool’ new people, and ended up hosting an afterparty at his apartment where they drank a lot and talked about their feelings until 8am. Four hours later, exhausted and cried-out, but feeling much better generally, Anders was up again to start thinking about the Gamejam theme, cruelly released on New Year’s Day by the Norwegian Film Institute. Those bastards.
Last weekend Anders travelled to Hamar to take charge of timekeeping at a dog-sled racing festival which had around 150 participants across approximately 18 classes, ranging from Slow and Lazy class to Your Dogs Are Going Really Fast, Please Stop Whipping Them and Shouting class. Anders claims it was a ‘fun’ change of pace to help them out, meet old friends and be close to the horrific dog-sled culture he grew up with.
Anders also recently started playing Alien: Isolation, and while he is totally hating on the Alien, and especially the Androids, he ‘so, so, so understand why it’s gotten a lot of praise for its atmosphere… I hope we can come close with Through the Woods. (And with your help, Dan, that should be possible, right!?)’… No, Anders. I am a waste of space.
Oh, Anders is working to prepare the new Game Awards for Norwegian games and the Global Game Jam here in Oslo which will happen at some point in the future. God, Anders, stop doing stuff!
Ole Furu: Mr. Furu has been dealing with Christmas hangovers with orange juice and rock & roll! Besides being hard at work as game/level designer on our new title for the Norwegian Championsphip in Gameplay this week, he’s resumed rehearsals with his awesome band, the unpronounceable Sørgekåpe, in preparation for their Seigmen warm-up in April. He says there is a lot of rust that needs polishing.
Other than that, Ole has ‘had a blast’ coming back to work and seeing our great but unfashionable gang again.
Stian: Oh, that Stian. Mr Schüller celebrated New Years this/last week and, on his way to the party, met some childhood friends from when he was in the circus. Together, they entertained the cold people waiting for the bus with various acrobatics and rolls. Stian went on to slip in the ice during a death-defying stunt but managed to save both of his eyes by performing an Assassin’s Creed roll at the last second, standing back up before he knew what hit him. Only his arm touched the ground and his adoring audience burst into raucous and aroused applause and everyone missed their bus.
After Stian finally arrived at the party he was greeted the hostess, who pretended not to know him. She had seen him jumping around on the news and was embarrassed. Stian took off his cap to see if she would drop some coins in repayment for his performance, but instead she decided to admit she did actually know him and allowed him to come in and eat some food instead. It was a little awkward
Oh, and Stian is also working every day now from when he wakes up until he goes to sleep again, because that’s what all of us do and because being in the circus pays really, really badly.
Torkill: Torkill ascended way up to some remote mountain spot for New Year’s, and for the first time in a couple of years really felt the fact that he’s been working with only IT since he was old enough to type ‘Pappa’. He literally almost died getting to the cabin at the summit, got drunk after one beer and had to be flown to hospital by air ambulance. You can’t treat heart disease with beer, Norwegians! When will you learn?
Other than that, he spent an unnatural amount of time away from computers, playing cards, Yahtzee, reading ‘books’ and having snowball fights.
Mr. Electric also had a very nice trip to the Antagonist office to meet everyone and laugh at us before he headed back to the much more pleasant Denmark, and was disgusted to see that not much has changed, really.
Torje: Mr. Muscles went back to Larvik to spend time with his family and some old friends. We often ask Torje why he doesn’t try to make some friends his own age but when we do he just stares out of the window and refuses to dry his tears.
Over the past week Torje has eaten a lot of stuff he doesn’t usually eat, which, from what I’ve seen, is everything except chicken breasts. He’s been training with his brother, walking his dog, playing alot of a computer game called World of the War Craft, another game called Smite and another game called The Grand Theft Auto 4. Apparently, Torje got drunk ‘at least three times’ which, reading into it and the slight tinge of desperation in the words, I suspect means he did not get drunk three times.
Dan: For New Year’s, Dan got dressed up and went to a busy dinner at a friend’s place. There was wonderful Turkey food, some drinking and fighting. Everyone went up to the rooftop to watch the fireworks at midnight and some people who were setting off fireworks in the street almost blew Dan’s friend’s faces off. But even with minor eye injuries it was all still quite a laugh.
Dan has had a very fun week this week with a trip to the beautiful Copenhagen. There was a massive abundance of beer and gin and tonics and they ate at a couple of very lovely restaurants and bars such as Manfred’s, Nose2Tail and Lidkoeb. At Nose2Tail, in true Viking style, they ate a huge wooden platter of chicken hearts.
There was just so much drinking, a fight, a dashed attempt to visit a strip club, some drinking and a fight. Sadly (or not), Dan is struggling to remember fine details such as places and events, but says he has fuzzy memories of drinking and fighting. Dan appears to realise he’s still drunk and is now repeating himself. End transmission.
Torstein: Torstein has been listening to a band called My Dick, and watched show on the You Tube called Cooking With Dog. Torstein hopes to someday combine the two titles and create his own instructional web series. You can guess what the title will be. No? You can’t guess? Ok, I’ll tell you: … no, I’m sure you can guess.
On New Year’s Eve, Oslo was so foggy he couldn’t see across the street so he missed the fireworks. For 2015 Torstein predicts we will finally start seeing flying cars in the street. I propose this is nonsense… why would flying cars drive around on the street? You’d surely fly up a bit to watch the fireworks and clear the streets for the flying motorbikes?
Ok, that’s all the office gossip for this week, and it was probably too much anyway. Is anyone still reading this? I bet I could say whatever I wanted and no one would care. I’m going to do it. Ready…?